When you know you know and when you don’t know… you don’t listen to your instincts and keep trying to convince yourself that it will click soon. He’s a nice guy, give it once more chance, maybe he was just having an off day…. Maybe it is just me
Nope it’s either a “Hell Yes! Or Hell No!”
I’ve recently realised that it’s not me, it’s him and although he may be somebody’s ideal man, he just wasn’t what I wanted.
I should stop doubting myself, I know what I want, I know I can go for it if I want to and I know my heart will be shattered if he doesn’t want the same thing but that’s what I do, I wear my heart on my sleeve and give it my all, when I know.
When I don’t know, I give them one more chance… on more kiss..one more, one more. It’s draining, heartbreaking and makes me feel like I’ve kissed one too many frogs and start to doubt my prince is out there.
Men have no problem when they know it’s not going to work, they don’t return calls, they rarely give second chances and don’t over analyse about whether it will work or not, they meet you, decide if you will provide them with what they’re after and if not, they walk away and don’t feel the least bit guilty about it.
So why can’t I do that? Why do I keep dating men who I know aren’t clicking with me, I know they have different morals, beliefs and goals, I know that when they kiss me there is nothing, I know that I don’t like the way they treat me or that the spark just wasn’t there.
First impressions count in my case, I think I’m good at figuring out a person pretty quickly, the problem is I rarely follow my instinct … and I always regret it later.
I regret “Magnum PI”, I regret not following my initial instincts that popped up pretty early on in our dates but I thought he was nice, sweet and good to me, so why not, just give it one more date? Now I feel awful, I feel like I’ve hurt someone and myself. It sucks.
Sure, I bought it but it was really like that super expensive dress that you bought regardless of the fact that it’s a bit too tight, doesn’t suit you and is made of completely impractical material that you know will start to fade after a few washes, you always kept the receipt just in case and you never quite know if you will get a full refund.
I’ve decided to start living by the mantra, love shouldn’t be something you have to sell, and it should just be there. There should be no grey area on either side, why would I want to be with a person who isn’t excited to be with me?
I know relationships aren’t a walk in the park, I don’t expect things to be effortless and just fall into place but there should be some sort of spark, followed by similar goals and morals, followed by attraction, butterflies and lust.
Call me a masochist and I’m sure there will be plenty of tears and more heartbreak but I’m still looking for that one and I won’t settle for decent, OK or “just a nice guy”